Common Issues
Listed below are some common issues faced by college students today
Alcohol Dependent Families
The Effect on Children
The family is a system, and like other systems each part is assigned a job to keep the system in balance. In a dysfunctional family such as families with alcohol-dependent members, the roles and rules often become detrimental.
In alcoholic families, unspoken rules are developed that help keep the family in check. Children quickly learn "don't trust, don't talk, don't feel." Basic trust is not established because the parents are not able to meet the fundamental physical and emotional needs. The children's lives are filled with inconsistency and broken promises. Denial becomes a strong coping mechanism in the hopes that "if we ignore the problem it will go away." Those children who do try to rock the boat are often punished through neglect, humiliation or physical means. The feelings of these children are not validated because the parents either do not respond at all to the child's fear, anger, and sadness or the feelings are discounted (e.g., "Big boys/girls don't cry"). In the short run, the rules assure safety because they avoid upsetting the alcoholic parent. In the long run, they cause significant pain and perpetuate problems.
Children often take on the following roles in families where alcohol has chronically caused crisis and chaos:
- The Hero, the responsible one or the family caretaker learns to ignore his/her own feelings and to care for others. These "superkids" are often high achievers and little adults who look very good on the outside. Inside they are often stuffing painful feelings and compulsivity.
- The Scapegoat is often the acting out child who takes center stage to take the heat off the alcohol-dependent adult. The parent?s drinking problem is often blamed on this "problem child."
- The Lost Child may become invisible to the rest of the family. An overly compliant household chameleon, this child removes him/herself by becoming lost in day dreams.
- The Mascot or family clown brings comic relief to the tense family situation. This child?s charming personality entertains others and gives off the impression that stress is not a problem while in reality the child feels frightened and alone.
Common Traits of Adult Children of Alcoholics
- Isolated and afraid of authority figures.
- Seeks approval and loses own identity in the process
- Frightened by angry people and any personal criticism
- Becomes an alcoholic, marries them, or both (or finds another compulsive personality, e.g., workaholic, to fulfill the need for abandonment)
- Overdeveloped sense of responsibility; easier to be concerned with others than themselves.
- Feels guilt when they stand up for themselves; gives in to others
- Addicted to excitement
- Stuffs the feelings from traumatic childhood and loses the ability to feel or express feelings
- Judges self harshly and has low self-esteem
- Terrified of abandonment - will do anything to hold onto a relationship
- Reactors rather than actors.
Adapted from The 12 Steps for Adult Children by Friends in Recovery; San Diego, 1987.
Steps to Recovery
- Increase your awareness. Read more about the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home. Draw a multigenerational family map or "genogram" to discover how family patterns were passed on.
- Get support from others. Learn to break the unspoken rules by talking to family members and others who can validate your experiences.
- Develop new families of affiliation. New friendships and healthy networks are invaluable to the healing process. You need to find a place where it is OK to make mistakes and to be honest.
- Learn how to feel the feelings and let go of the shame. Sadness, anger, and fear are all natural reactions to confronting the past and attempting to change. Grieving for a lost childhood can be a painful process. "You can only heal what you feel." Shame is an immobilizing state that keeps people repeating old patterns.
- Reconnect with yourself as a child. By finding the lost self you can start discovering the true self. Learn to embrace your uniqueness. Find pictures of yourself as a child and try to recapture what it was like to be you.
Adapted from the writing of John Bradshaw.
Additional Reading:
- Beatties, M. (1989). Beyond Codependency. Center City, MN: Hazelden.
- Black, C. (1981). It Will Never Happen to Me.
- Bradshaw, J. (1988). Bradshaw on: The Family. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc.
- Gravitz, H. L. & Bowden, J. D. (1985). Guide to Recovery: A Book for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Holmes Beach, FL: Learning Publications.
- Middelton-Moz, J. & Dwinell, L. (1986). After the Tears. Pompano Beach: FL: Health Communications, Inc.
- Woititz, J. G. (1983). Adult Children of Alcoholics. Hollywood, FL: Health Communications, Inc.
Dealing with Anger: Channel Your Energy
Anger is a misunderstood emotion. Many people fear their own and other's anger rather than channelling it towards self-empowerment or conflict resolution. There are many positive sides to anger:
- Anger is an energizer: It can mobilize you and give you stamina when things get difficult.
- Anger helps you communicate: The constructive expression of anger is an important way to improve your relationships.
- Anger is a cue: It gives you information to tell us that something is unjust, threatening,or frustrating. It tells you that it is time to approach things in a different way. It can give you insight. It can be a warning sign that your stress is out of control.
- Anger gives you a feeling of being in charge. When used correctly, it can enable you to assert yourself and control a situation.
When used incorrectly, however, anger can do serious damage. For example, if you feel that someone has treated you unfairly, you may become obsessed with them. You many ruminate about how they should not or must not act. You may think about or seek revenge on the person. You may abuse weaker individuals (e.g., subordinates or family members) over whom you have control. Uncontrolled anger is also a factor leading to many crimes such as assault and rape as well as prejudice and bigotry. Intense unexpressed anger can often lead to depression and somatic problems.
Anger is not an automatic reaction; it's cognitive and physiological response that develops through a series of stages.
First, you evaluate an event in terms of how relevant it is to you and how threatening or harmful it may be to you. The anger response is a likely outcome is the event is seen as something that should not have happened. Anger increases when the event seems unfair and might have been prevented. Furthermore, if someone has intentionally acted against you to make the event happen, your anger is likely to be even stronger. Finally, if you believe the person responsible for the event should be made to pay or suffer for their actions, then you will be even angrier.
One way that anger is bypassed is if you believe that you can tolerate, cope with, or change the event.
Anger vs Aggression
Anger and aggression are not the same. You can experience anger without engaging in aggressive behavior. Anger can and often does occur with both verbal and physical aggression. Aggression occurs when an individual intentionally takes action to hurt or destroy.
Many individuals believe that aggression is a natural human instinct. There is not scientific basis for this notion. Rather, aggression is a learned response. If it is rewarded, it will usually be repeated. While physical aggression is fairly obvious, passive aggression is more subtle.
Listed below are some examples of Passive Aggression (Anger Expressed Inappropriately)
- Put-downs
- Sarcasm
- Insults
- Rudeness
- Sabotage
- Intimidation
- Belittling Remarks
Do's and Don'ts of Anger Management
DO:
- Pay attention to what you say to yourself when you are angry. Are your self-statements guiding you toward a solution or are they fueling the fire?
- Learn to relax. Taking a time-out might give you a new perspective on the situation. Relaxation and anger are incompatible responses (you can't have both at the same time).
- Express yourself assertively and focus on solving the problem.
- Release tension through sports and other pro-social competition.
DON?T:
- Practice anger "catharsis" (e.g., punching walls, screaming, smashing things). This usually leads to MORE anger not less.
- Drink alcohol to "wash away" problems.
- Try to "stuff" your anger or pretend it is not there.
Additional Reading:
- Ellis, A. (1985). Anger: How to Live With and Without it. Secaucus, NJ: Carol Publishing Group.
- Lerner, H. G. (1985). The Dance of Anger. New York: Harper & Row
- Tavris, C. (1984) Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion. New York: Simon & Schuster.
- Thomas, S. & Jefferson, C. (1996) Use Your Anger:A Woman?s Guide to Empowerment. New York: Pocket Books.
- Weisinger. Anger Workout Book.
An eating disorder is a serious illness where there is a severe disturbance in eating behavior. There are three major types of eating disorders.
- Anorexia nervosa
- Bulimia nervosa
- Binge eating disorder
Anorexia Nervosa
Anorexia Nervosa has five primary symptoms:
- Refusal to maintain body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for height, body type, age, and activity level.
- Intense fear of weight gain or being "fat".
- Feeling "fat" or overweight despite dramatic weight loss.
- Loss of menstrual periods in post-puberty women and girls.
- Extreme concern with body weight and shape.
Approximately 90-95% of anorexia nervosa sufferers are girls and women and between 5-20% of individuals struggling with anorexia nervosa will die. The health consequences of anorexia nervosa include: abnormally slow heart rate and low blood pressure, reduction of bone density, muscle loss and weakness, severe dehydration, fainting, fatigue, dry hair, hair loss and the growth of a downy layer of hair (lanugo).
Warning signs of anorexia nervosa include:
- Dramatic weight loss
- Preoccupation with weight, food, calories, fat grams, and dieting
- Refusal to eat certain foods, progressing to restrictions against whole categories of foods
- Frequent comments about feeling "fat" or overweight despite weight loss
- Anxiety about gaining weight or being "fat"
- Denial of hunger
- Development of food rituals
- Consistent excuses to avoid mealtimes or situations involving food
- Withdrawal from usual friends and activities
Bulimia Nervosa
Bulimia nervosa is a serious, potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by a cycle of bingeing and purging. Bulimia nervosa has three primary symptoms:
- Eating large quantities of food in short periods of time, often secretly, without regard to feelings of "fullness" or "hunger", and to the point of feeling "out of control" while eating
- Following these "binges" with some form of purging or compensatory behavior to make up for the excessive calories taken in: self-induced vomiting, laxative or diuretic abuse, fasting, and/or obsessive or compulsive exercise.
- Extreme concern with body weight and shape.
Bulimia nervosa affects 1-4% of college aged women and approximately 80% of bulimia nervosa patients are women. People struggling with bulimia nervosa will often appear to be of average body weight. Some health consequences of bulimia nervosa include: electrolyte imbalances that can lead to irregular heartbeats and possibly heart failure, inflammation and the possible rupture of the esophagus from frequent vomiting, chronic irregular bowel movement, tooth decay and staining, peptic ulcers and potential for gastric rupture during periods of bingeing.
Warning signs of bulimia nervosa include:
- Evidence of binge eating, including disappearance of large amounts of food in short periods of time
- Evidence of purging behaviors, including frequent trips to the bathroom after meals
- Excessive, rigid exercise regimen-despite weather, fatigue, illness, and injury
- Unusual swelling of the cheeks or jaw area
- Calluses on the back of the hands and knuckles from self-induced vomiting
- Discoloration, staining of the teeth
- Withdrawal from usual friends and activities
Binge Eating Disorder
Binge Eating Disorder is a relatively newly recognized eating disorder characterized by frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating of large amounts of food. Binge Eating Disorder has several primary symptoms:
- Frequent episodes of eating large quantities of food in short periods of time
- Frequent feelings of being "out of control" during binges
- Eating large quantities of food rapidly, without really tasting the food
- Eating alone
- Feelings of shame, disgust, or guilt after a binge.
The prevalence of binge eating disorder in the general population is still being researched. However, researchers estimate that approximately 25% of obese individuals suffer from frequent episodes of binge eating. Binge eating disorder appears to affect slightly more women than men and people who suffer from binge eating disorder can be of normal or heavier than average weight. Many people who suffer from binge eating disorder have a history of depression. Health consequences of binge eating disorder include: high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, heart disease as a result of elevated triglyceride levels, secondary diabetes and gallbladder disease.
Taken directly from materials provided by Eating Disorders and Prevention, Inc.
What is normal eating?
Normal eating is being able to eat when you are hungry and continue eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and try get enough of it, not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to use some moderate constraint in your food selection to get the right food, but not being so restrictive that you miss out on pleasurable foods. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad, or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is three meals a day, most of the time, but it can also be choosing to munch along. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful when they are fresh. Normal eating is overeating at times: feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. It is also under-eating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life. In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your emotions, your schedule, your hunger, and your proximity to food.
Taken directly from How to Get Your Kid to Eat, But Not Too Much by Ellen Satter
How to Help a Friend with Eating and Body Image Issues
- Learn as much as you can about eating disorders. Read books, articles, and brochures
- Know the differences between facts and myths about weight, nutrition and exercise. Knowing the facts will help you reason against any inaccurate ideas that your friend may be using as excuses to maintain her disordered eating patterns.
- Be honest. Talk openly and honestly about your concerns with the person who is struggling with eating or body image problems. Avoiding it or ignoring it won't help!
- Be caring, but be firm. Caring about your friend does not mean being manipulated by her. Your friend must be responsible for her actions and their consequences. Avoid making "rules," promises, or expectations that you cannot or will not uphold.
- Tell someone. It may seem difficult to know when, if at all, to tell someone else about your concerns. Addressing body image or eating problems in their beginning stages probably offers your friend the best chance for working through these issues and becoming healthy again. Don't wait until the situation is so severe that your friend's life is in danger. If you have already spoken with your friend and still feel like more steps need to be taken to address these issues, consider telling her parents, a teacher, a doctor, a counseling, a nutritionist, or any trusted adult. She needs as much support and understanding as possible from the people in her life.
Taken directly from materials provided by Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention, Inc.
Additional Resources
- Anorexia Nervosa: A Hunger for Meaning, by Karen Way, Hayworth
- A Parent's Guide to Eating Disorders: Prevention and Treatment of Anorexia and Bulimia, by Brette Valette, Avon
- Surviving an Eating Disorder: Strategies for Family and Friends, by Judith Brisman & M. Siegel. Harper Collins, 1988
- Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, by Marya Hornbacher, Harper Collins, 1998
- Fat is a Feminist Issue, by Susie Orbach, Berkeley
- Break Free from Compulsive Eating, by Geneen Roth, Penguin, USA
- Males with Eating Disorders, edited by Arnold Andersen, Brunner/Mazel, 1990
- Bodylove, by Rita Freedman, Harper Collins
- When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies, by Carol Munter & Jane Hirschman, Random House
Understanding Sleep Disorders
While the field of sleep disorders still holds many unknowns, anyone who has been through multiple sleepless nights in a row can tell you that insomnia can have concerning ramifications. One night of insomnia, however will not have a major affect on your body. If you find yourself tossing and turning the night before a big exam or a speech, do not worry. The adrenaline from the excitement of the next day's big event will supersede any negative effects of the lack of sleep.
In contrast, many sleepless nights in a row will tend to adversely affect work productivity, social life, and physical health for most people. Some people can get by with as few as three hours of sleep a night and not feel tired at all the next day. The majority of people need at least six to eight hours and some need more than ten to feel rested. You know that sleeplessness has affected you when you feel over-tired and lose motivation to complete tasks. Your concentration and reaction time are somewhat altered. Monotonous activities like driving become hazardous because you feel yourself nodding off. If you are required to make critical decisions or to think creatively, your resources may be less than ideal. People who are chronically sleep deprived may experience impaired memory functioning and irritability.
What kind of insomniac are you? One system of categorizing insomniacs looks the potential causes of insomnia: (1) insomnia associated with emotional difficulties, (2) insomnia associated with physical ailments, (3) insomnia due to lifestyle behaviors, and (4) insomnia caused by poor sleep hygiene (sleep habits). Both depression and anxiety are psychological problems that affect sleep. Waking up too early is often a symptom of depression while having difficulty falling asleep is associated with anxiety. Drug and alcohol addictions can seriously interfere with the sleep cycle. Medical conditions affecting sleep include: pain, infections, breathing problems, allergies, hormone upsets, indigestion, and more. Insomnia can also be a side effect from certain medications. Ironically, sleeping pills can also contribute to sleep disorders. Lifestyle problems may involve overworking, relationship conflict, or lack of "play time." Poor sleep habits such as napping can also disrupt the sleep schedule.
In trying to deal with overcoming insomnia, start by investigating the cause of your problems. If you are experiencing depression, psychotherapy and antidepressants may help your sleep get back on track. If your lifestyle is not in balance, try cutting back on your obligations. If you have developed poor sleeping habits, you need to learn new bedtime associations to improve sleep.
Resource: No More Sleepless Nights (1991) by Peter Hauri and Shirley Linde
Sleeping Pills: A Short-Term
At one time physicians passed out sleeping pills and tranquilizers like candy. With new information about the long-term consequences of sleeping pill use, many people are being more cautious about what to take and for how long.
Once your body has learned to depend on pills for sleep, taking pills away usually causes the insomnia to get worse. This is called "rebound insomnia." Because of this phenomena, people often become addicted to sleeping pills. A sleeping pill can be masking the real causes of poor sleep (i.e., the medical, behavioral, or psychological problems). The National Institute of Health recommends that the treatment for insomnia should start with the corrections of poor sleep habits before sleeping medication is used. If the individual does choose to go on sleep medications, he or she should receive the smallest effective dose for the shortest clinically necessary period of time.
Sleeping pills can also affect the day after. People often take sleeping pills thinking that they will feel more refreshed and alert the next day. By contrast, research indicates people who got a night?s sleep while on sleeping pills did not perform any better than people who got a poor night?s sleep while on a placebo. Many people feel sedated and groggy after a night's sleep on medication.
All sleeping pills have been shown to have side effects. They cause confusion, high blood pressure, anxiety, dizziness and may slow respiration. Sleeping pills can interact with other drugs, and the combination with alcohol can be deadly.
"Sleep Hygiene": Behavioral Strategies
- Don't sleep longer than you need to feel refreshed the next day
- Use your bed only for sleeping and sex
- Wind down with a relaxing activity before bed and lie down only when sleepy
- Go to bed about the same time every day of the week
- If you don't fall asleep in about 15 minutes, leave the room, do something boring and don?t return to bed until you feel sleepy. Repeat the same procedure any time you are awake in bed for more than about 15 minutes (estimate the time, try not to watch the clock)
- Get up at the same time every morning, seven days a week, regardless of how much sleep you had the night before
- Don't take naps
- Don't drink coffee after noon and don't drink alcohol at night.
- Avoid nonprescription medications that contain caffeine or other stimulants
- Exercise regularly about four times a week but don't do it too close to bedtime
- Have a light snack before bed (e.g., ripe bananas and warm milk may help make you sleepy)
- Limit your intake of liquids in the evening to decrease the need for middle of the night trips to the bathroom
- Avoid sleeping pills as they only provide short-term relief
Additional Resources
- Benson, H. B. (1975) The Relaxation Response. New York: William Morrow.
- Hauri, P. & Linde, S. (1991). No More Sleepless Nights. New York: Wiley.
- Lichstein, K. L. (1988) Clinical Relaxation Strategies. New York: Wiley.
- Morin, C. M. (Ed) (1993). Insomnia. New York: Guilford Press.
Suicide: Know the Signs
The underlying commonality among individuals who kill themselves is the belief that suicide is the ONLY solution to their unbearable situation. Over time in the majority of instances, the events in question will pass, their impact can be mitigated, or their overwhelming nature will gradually diminish. This often depends on the suicidal person making good choices for themselves at a time when they are feeling at their worst. This can be extremely difficulty to do.
People can usually deal with isolated stressful events well, but when there is an accumulation of these events over a long time period, the normal coping strategies are often pushed to the limit. Frequently, people will give off warning signs that they are in need of help with the hope that someone will step in to rescue them. Other people may show no signs at all and others may show the signs and seem to be coping well. The only way to know for sure is to ask. Some of these warning signs are:
- Withdrawing from friends and family
- Loss of interest in usually activities
- Extreme hopelessness
- Changes in appetite and sleep
- Talking, writing or hinting about suicide
- Purposefully putting personal affairs in order
- A sudden change from extreme depression to being "at peace" (may indicate they have made their decision to kill themselves
People are often afraid to talk to others about suicide since death is a taboo topic in western society. This phenomenon often leads to further isolation and increases the problem. Many people believe that talking about suicide may give someone the idea to do it. This is simply not true. You don't give a person morbid thoughts by talking about suicide. People often feel better by honestly expressing their distress. Asking them directly, "Are you thinking of suicide?" gives them the permission to share their true feelings. Above all, suicidal people, like everyone, need love, understanding and care.
Many also believe that if people are determined to kill themselves, nothing will stop them. The truth is most suicidal people do not want death, rather, they want the pain to stop. There is often great ambivalence about carrying through on the decision to end it all.
Facts About Suicide
- 79% of all firearm suicides are committed by white men.
- Suicide was the 3rd leading cause of death among young people 15 to 24 years of age, following unintentional injuries and homicide.
- Research indicates that there are certain familial factors that are associated with suicide:
- Family history of mental or substance abuse disorder
- Family history of suicide
- Family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
- There are an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides for every completion; this ratio is higher in women and youth and lower in men and the elderly
- More women than men report a history of attempted suicide, with a gender ration of about 2:1
- The strongest risk factors for attempted suicide in adults are depression, alcohol abuse, cocaine abuse, and separation/divorce.
- The majority of suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress and not just manipulative attempts to get attention.
- More people die from suicide than from homicide in the United States
Source: NIMH/CDC
What do you do if someone you know becomes suicidal
[Note: This article is to serve only as a general guideline. It is intended to be informative rather than authoritative.]
- Try to remain calm. In most instances there is no rush. Focus on listening and understanding.
- Ask about the person's thoughts. Contrary to popular belief, asking about suicide doesn?t put ideas into people's head. Ask about the plan, method and means are they lethal? Available?
- Encourage problem solving and positive actions. Encourage them to refrain from making any serious, irreversible decisions while in a crisis.
- Listen with respect. Suicidal people very often need understanding and care. Tell them, "I don't want you to die." Develop a no-suicide contract and safety plan.
- Take charge. Don't worry about invading their privacy. Don't leave it up to them to get help. If the crisis is acute, treat it as an emergency - call 911 or take the person to an emergency room. You would intervene if someone were having a heart attack - a suicidal impulse can be just as deadly.
- Get assistance. Avoid trying to be the sole lifeline for the person. Seek out resources even if it means breaking a confidence.
- Know that you can only do so much to try to prevent someone from committing suicide. Ultimately, they will make their own choice.
- If the danger is imminent DO NOT LEAVE THE PERSON ALONE.
For information on suicide risk and prevention call: 303-458-3507
Other Resources:
- Carlson, Trudy Suicide Survivors Handbook.
- Ellis, T. A. & Newman, C. F. Choosing to Live.
- Hewitt, John After Suicide.
- Parkin, Rebecca Child Survivors of Suicide: A Guidebook for Those Who Care for Them.
- Quinnett, Paul G. Suicide: The Forever Decision ? For Those Thinking About Suicide, and For Those Who Know, Love or Counsel Them.
- Wrobleski, Adina Suicide: Why?
- Wrobleski, Adina Suicide: Survivors ? A Guide for Those Left Behind.
What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a psychological syndrome that affects individuals who have experienced a critical incident in their lives. The cluster of symptoms including nightmares, flashbacks, hyperarousal, dissociation, depression, and avoidance was first noticed in war veterans returning from combat. At that time it was labeled "shell shock" or "battle fatigue." In the last several decades research in the area of psychological trauma has discovered that other types of life-and-death situations can produce a similar effect: earthquakes, rape, domestic violence, airplane crashes, car accidents, and violent crime.
For many individuals, the symptoms gradually disappear over time, but for others the symptoms can persist with varying intensity for decades. Generally, the symptoms of PTSD fall into three categories:
- Intrusive symptoms: These symptoms occur when the traumatic event unexpectedly "intrudes" into the person?s consciousness whether through vivid memories, disturbing thoughts, or nightmares. Others are "triggered" by internal or external cues that resemble part of the trauma. When this happens, the trauma is, in a sense, re-experienced over and over again.
- Avoidance Symptoms: Because re-experiencing the traumatic event is usually so painful, many individuals develop avoidance patterns to dampen the intensity of the bad feelings. For example, an individual with PTSD may avoid situations that are reminders of the traumatic event. Others may become numb to emotions altogether. Depression is a common result of the withdrawal and "shutting down" that occurs.
- Hyperarousal Symptoms: Individuals with PTSD often feel like they need to constantly be on guard for danger; thus, they often experience exaggerated startle responses, irritability, or explosive anger. They may have difficulty concentrating or remembering new information. Many people have problems falling or staying asleep.
There are several associated symptoms that may be present when someone develops PTSD. These include: alcohol or other drug abuse (to "self-medicate" painful feelings), panic attacks, suicidality, extreme guilt, or loneliness.
If these symptoms last for more than one month and are disruptive to your life, you may consider counseling.
Rebuilding Your Life After Trauma:
SOME BASIC COPING STRATEGIES
- Educate yourself. There are many excellent self-help books on the market today which describe the course and treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (see back of pamphlet for suggestions)
- Understand that healing comes in stages over time. After a traumatic event, your life may never go back to the way it was. Many of your assumptions about the world have been destroyed, and developing a new set of beliefs will take time. Don't expect to just "snap out of it."
- Get support. Talk about your experience and consequent feelings with supportive friends and family members. If there were others involved in the traumatic experience with you, it may help to keep in contact to process the event. Many trauma-specific support groups (e.g, rape, combat, sexual abuse) may be offered in your community. Consider counseling if symptoms persist.
- Empower yourself. After the turmoil and intense emotional processing has past, many people find they can build strength from the knowledge they have gained from the trauma. Some people volunteer to help other trauma survivors. Others write about and publish their experience. Some pursue legal avenues for compensation.
Additional Reading:
- Herman, J. L. (1992) Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books
- Janoff-Bulman, R. (1992) Shattered Assumptions: Towards a New Psychology of Trauma. The Free Press: New York.
- Matsakis, A. (1992). I Can?t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors. New Harbinger Publications: Oakland, CA.
- Terr, L.(1990) Too Scared to Cry. New York: Harper Collins [Book about children?s response to trauma]